Like The Naked Leads The Blind
by Hushabye
Summary: Why haven't you erased me yet? Post Maria ending. Rated T because I'm paranoid.


__Post Maria ending._  
>This is told in first and third person to give it a more personalconfusing feel.  
>"Every You, Every Me" by Placebo and "December" by Collective Soul<em> _were my inspirations for this story.  
>I hope you like it. :D<em>

* * *

><p><em>You're like a drug, James.<em>  
><em>Why don't you throw me away?<em>  
><em>I ask silly questions, I know.<em>  
><em>Just a fool.<em>

Maria would lie awake, the sun making her see blue and green worlds. She would remain sleepless. She figured James never got a good night's rest either. But how could she truly know that? She made a home for herself on the floor in the living room.

Beds were too comfortable. The rough fibers of the carpet were to her liking. Even the hard couch was too soft. It dug into her shoulders and spine, leaving red slashes across her skin.

James hesitated before disturbing her, feet gently hitting what he felt to be unsteady ground. Although he was used to seeing Maria curled up on the floor every morning, he couldn't help but feel baffled and astonished by her figure, always in the same position. He wondered if he found her there sometimes, sleepwalking. His heels and soles stung.

Maria held nothing in her eyes and flashed a clenched grin.

Why wouldn't she stay with him?

_I don't think it's love.  
>Sure, I've been wrong before.<br>Everyone makes mistakes.  
>So why haven't you erased me yet?<em>

James couldn't feel her get up in the middle of the night. He asked her about it the first time it happened, but she wouldn't give him a straight answer.

Something they had in common.

Maria knew they weren't necessarily together, but she stayed in bed until she was sure he was asleep. She had so many thoughts floating around in her mind, she couldn't pinpoint the right thing to say.

Would he even listen?

Somehow, she knew the answer wouldn't be enough.

_You don't want me like you want Mary back.  
>I understand- I'm not real.<br>In a sense.  
>I guess I simply don't understand you, or why... we're... possible.<em>

Maria only cried in front of James once. And she knew that was a big mistake. Expressing feelings was never a sign of weakness for her. But then she bled from the eyes.

James couldn't look at her. He blamed himself for many things, and Maria wished he would let himself off the hook once in awhile. His reasoning had been selfish, yes. But she believed he also did what he had to do for Mary. To end her suffering as well as his.

Ironic.

Despite everything that had happened to her and to them in Silent Hill, she didn't feel like she was dragged or forced into James' hell. Tormented soul.

She felt... needed.

_You held me once, but all I saw in your actions was your grief.  
>And let's not forget your Mary.<br>I needed to force you to see me.  
>It never worked, and I don't think it ever will.<em>

Rare, beautiful days like the one before Maria was a blessing. The night before, it had rained, and she had watched the familiar phenomenon with glassy eyes. Everything smelled fresh and new.

Maria was watching the cars go by outside, praying for more familiarity. The speeding, murderous vehicles were unsettling. There was a traffic jam in her brain, and it came in the form of a large, pounding migraine. She hoped that someday, she would know how to leave, for both her sake as well as James'.

All for James.

But where would she go? A short stroll outdoors once in awhile, by herself, felt like a treacherous act. Wrong.

Maria, contrary to popular belief, wasn't depressed, no. In fact, she was quite sure of herself and where she stood. She had wept in the presence of James that one measly time to show she felt his pain. His pain that he couldn't seem to talk to her about, though she had made it clear several times before that she was there for _him_. _For __him._

He hardly said anything at all to begin with.

James walked into her thought process. He looked embarrassed, as if he was interrupting something important, and turned to leave. Maria felt a sudden rush of emotion, greater than the last wave, and she began yelling at his retreating form. She threw many insults his way- insults she didn't actually mean. But she was so mixed up inside. She sat in place, only turning her head slightly in order to see him, a blurred shadow. She didn't stand up or march over to him. She just shouted. She didn't care if the neighbors could hear or if they had the audacity to complain. She cared about him.

That didn't feel forced either.

Maria stopped after a few minutes, her body language not matching her outburst. Her complexion was a little pinker than normal. She wasn't uptight.

And to her surprise, neither was James. He seemed to loosen up after every obscenity. He turned around a long moment after her tender screams had ceased. He was reminded of the time when she was taken by the two Pyramid Heads- waving his guilt and horror and regret in front of him like a friendly wave of the hand. Her pleas had been fearful but somehow hopeful just as they were now. He felt his heart break, slowly and strategically.

Was this real?

_Now the question becomes, do we deserve each other?  
>I don't know how to leave, and do you know how to let me go?<br>Maybe I'll disappear.  
>It feels like you have yourself, long before I met you.<em>

Maria felt warmth as his hands found their way to her waist from behind. This was the second time James had displayed any type of physical affection for her since she had willingly and blindly went home with him.

But who really goes home after being in a place like Silent Hill?

James wasn't the best at assertion. Maria guessed he was the same way before, even when Mary was alive.

Or maybe he had been deprived of the opportunity for so long that he had lost his power.

Maria was a sexual being. She had tried tempting him multiple times, and he had always refused. She was feeling deprived herself, and had, against that, considered spurning his advances just as he had when it involved her promise of security. She closed her eyes and found herself warily falling more and more as his hands and mouth traveled. And she forgot the world for at least a moment.

_Here I am, for you and only you.  
>No one else sees me, but you knew that right? You talk to yourself on the street.<br>I'll stay until you don't need me anymore.  
>But if you lose me, you'll lose a part of yourself. I have her memories. I have your memories. And I have your mind. I'm your escape. Your internal entrapment blinds you to that fact. Let's not play games or beat around the bush.<br>I'm your everything, but I'm not your Mary._

* * *

><p>"It feels so peaceful here," Maria observed. "I wish I could feel this way all the time." She started pulling grass out of the ground, one handful after another.<p>

"You're well on your way," James stated. Maria glanced at him, curiosity blotting out her eyes. "I mean, you're finally out of that hell hole. We both are." He timidly smiled at her and she found herself smiling back.

"True," Maria agreed. She sprinkled the grass she had just stolen onto her skirt. She watched the blades slide off, some faster than others, and she was mesmerized, repeating that cycle over and over.


End file.
